Belarus President Tells Citizens to Work Naked

I was about to write on the Benghazi report - but then it was revealed that Hillary Clinton specifically targeted certain reporters by name - and before I had a chance to sit down and write about that - the horror in Istanbul unfolded. 2016 seems like a cruel joke.

On a personal level, I had to deal with the miserable maze of medical billing, and then my laptop died and could not be resuscitated, and it felt like I was behind on everything I need to do this week. (The old Lenovo served me well, may he rest in peace.)

So I needed to write about something good today, and it's coming in hot from Belarus - the country wedged between Poland and Russia. This is their President, Alexander Lukashenko...just a bucket of giggles!

It started when Lukashenko was speaking at a conference in Minsk. He tried to implore Belarusians to develop their technology skills and get to work.

The word for "develop" is very similar to the word for "get naked."

Mr. Lukashenko told the people to get naked and go to work.

And then they did it. The Russian translation of "#getnakedgotowork" was all over Instagram.

Is it a little weird that people took the joke far enough to get naked with their coworkers? Yes, very weird. But I'm not going to think too hard about it. Because this is fantastic:

 

Well done, Belarus.

BREXIT

What’s this about?

UK voters have decided in favor of the Brexit. The UK joined the EU in 1973, and is now the very first and only independent member state to check out from the EU.

Britain has always had a particular relationship with the EU. It never transitioned to the Euro. Nor did the UK sign on to the Schengen Agreement, which eliminated internal border controls between member states. 

Until now, the UK has enjoyed access to the European Common Market – but at a hefty price in terms of membership fees, and in tons of new EU regulations on trade.

What’s the case for Remain?

The “Remainiacs” think Britain is getting a good return on its investment in the EU. It argues that UK citizens benefit from being able to work in any other member state with minimal, if any, visa requirements. The remain campaign also contended that, without the EU, tariffs on traded goods would raise the prices of goods and pinch citizens’ household budgets. 

There’s also the enormously popular Erasmus Programme, which allows students in EU member states to study abroad and intern in other member states without any of the usual visa hurdles. At the most recent count, over 15,000 British students were taking part in the Erasmus Programme; the country hosts over 27,000 Erasmus students from other member states. There is a chance that the UK loses all access to this program.

But how do young Brits feel about this?

That’s a great question, me, thank you for asking. (I’m welcome.) Young people overwhelmingly wanted to remain. Or Bremain, if you like geopolitical puns, as you should.  In fact, only 33% were planning to vote Leave. But the young Europhiles didn’t turn out in large enough numbers to make the difference. 

According to CNBC, 1.5 million people under the age of 25 aren’t registered to vote.  Another 2 million voters between 25 and 35 aren’t registered, either. 

…and the case for Leave?

The UK sends 350 million pounds to the EU every week. The Vote Leave campaigners say that they’re throwing money away, and getting tons of new rules and regulations that they didn’t ask for.  They’re in a common market, they argue, but not a free one.

Immigration is another key. The EU also wants the UK to accept more migrants, and give those migrants more benefits. Brexit fans want the UK to have total control over who they let into their country, and what benefits those people receive. You know…like, sovereignty over their national borders.

Who’s on what side?

Former London Mayor - and current hair icon - Boris Johnson is pleased with the result, while Prime Minister David Cameron is politically devastated. Perhaps the biggest personal political winner here is Nigel Farage, the head of the UK Independence Party. He’s hailing this as Britain’s Independence Day.

President Obama had urged British voters to remain. The royal family took no official position, but Liz Hurley, who plays the Queen on “The Royals,” wanted out. Keira Knightly and Benedict Cumberbatch wanted in. 

So, what happens next?

First, the markets go nuts. The British pound has already tanked. Markets will be volatile, and Brexit fans say it’s only temporary – the Remain crowd says this signals slowed economic growth, if not total disaster, for the UK. The real answer? Nobody knows – no country has ever left the EU before.

Britain now has to re-negotiate its current trade deals with the EU countries. This will take time, and it is unknown what kind of deals will result. But! The regulations go away, and the UK gets to hash out its own migrant policy. They also save major money on membership fees, which some Leave-ers want repurposed into funding for the NHS.

The idea of leaving the EU is contagious. The majority of Italian and French voters now want their own countries to hold a referendum on membership. Sweden is likely to hold a referendum now that they have seen the Brexit win with voters. There’s no telling which country will be the next domino to fall. Italeave? Swede-in or Swede-out? These events won’t nickname themselves, people!

This is only the beginning of the political fight between Euroskeptics and Europhiles.

Can we cancel the rest of this week?

You think I am asking that question facetiously. I am not.

The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility goes like this: The first unit of any resource expended yields greater returns than the second unit, and so on. Think of it like beer - you might be craving that first cold one, then have a second that still feels pretty good, a third because why not, and so on...until you hit a point where each beer makes you progressively worse off. Depending on your age, size, and tolerance, keep drinking those beers and you'll eventually be worse off than where you started.

All of this is to say, there's a point in any endeavor at which you should just stop. When things are going worse instead of better, make like Liz Lemon and shut it down.




That's what we need to do with this week. We woke up on Sunday to the news that rising music star Christina Grimmie had been shot dead at her concert. She was 22. Not only that, but 20 people were dead and dozens more injured at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. By Monday, the death toll was 50. The injured, 53.

On Monday afternoon, it was announced that the Orlando shooting was the deadliest terrorist attack on U.S. soil since 9/11. We learned more about the killer over the next day - that he was interviewed by the FBI three times, that his dad is an Islamist nutcase, that his wife may or may not have been in on the whole thing. On Tuesday night, a little boy waded by the water at Disney during a family vacation. An alligator dragged him into the water. On Wednesday afternoon, they found his body. The wreckage of the downed EgyptAir plane had been found just a few minutes earlier.

It has been one gut-wrenching story after another, and it's high time we just quit this week entirely. I'm not suggesting that we call tomorrow Sunday - that would mess up the calendar. Everybody could just go home and stay home until Friday at 5pm. Then, go about your weekend, hit the reset button, and we'll try this again in a couple days.

My home state of Georgia did this to all public schools one day. We were on the buses headed for home, when over the PA system was "The governor has declared all schools closed on Thursday and Friday of this week. School will resume on Monday." Governor Whatshisface (too lazy to Google it) thought we were on the verge of a statewide gas crisis. Everybody stayed home, no crisis occurred, and we came back to school on Monday a little happier, and much more well-rested.

Maybe the whole country can't do this - but given that these major tragedies are happening in Florida, the Sunshine State ought to give it a try. Keep the essential stuff open (hospitals, police stations) but close the stores, the restaurants, the car washes, and so on, and then tell everybody else to work from home. School is out for summer break, so that part is already done.

Things will get better eventually...but until then, I don't blame anyone who wants to hide out for a little while.

Hillary's Nomination is not a Feminist Win

For the first time in American history, a major political party will nominate a woman to the presidency. I figured there would be more celebration around this milestone - like people running to the White House, filtering their Facebook profile pictures in recognition, plastering #ImWithHer stickers on everything, and so on.

Mass digital hysteria happens over things that range from "oh, that's terrible" to "this is the dumbest." A lion and a dentist, an ugly dress, National Talk Like a Pirate Day, Joseph Kony (where is that guy, anyway?) In theory, 51% of the population should be amped up about tonight's news - and yet there is no mass digital hysteria.

Why don't we care?

It's not a victory for women. It's a victory for one corrupt and powerful woman who got there by denigrating other women.

Hillary entered the public eye because of who she was married to. That's not necessarily wrong, but it's not breaking a glass ceiling.

When Bill cheated, which was often - and allegedly in the form of assault, Hillary responded by smearing his accusers as bimbos who nobody should believe. That's not how you do feminism, Hillary.

Then she accomplished next to nothing as a Senator from New York (after she was "dead broke" leaving the White House - so broke that she was caught stealing furniture, but was somehow able to afford a multimillion dollar mansion). She and Bill bought the New York house so she could meet the residency requirement to run for Senate. Nothing says "Independent Woman" like hauling in cash from your husband's speaking fees and using them to fund your political ambitions by funneling through a sham charity. Am I right, ladies? So relatable!

Hillary's failures as Secretary of State are so well-documented that they don't bear (heh) repeating here. Think about this the next time you have a bad day at work: If you have never endangered national security, committed a felony, and wound up under federal investigation, you have not screwed up your job as royally as Hillary Clinton.

And then she gave a speech about income inequality while wearing a $12K Armani jacket. That's just incredibly tactless. I want to see a classy lady make it to the Oval Office first - not a classist one.
 
The bar to run for president is low. There are only two criteria: A person must have been born on American soil, and must be at least 35 years old. I'm sure that you personally know more than one woman who can check both boxes and is trustworthy, ethical, and smart. I care about having a competent president more than having a female one. But selfishly, I'd sure like to see a woman president in my lifetime - as long as she's a good one.

Hillary is not the best among us. Not even close. She just happens to have gotten there first. If this milestone was reached by a woman who exemplifies the best of what women can be - capable, brilliant, honest, caring, creative, the list goes on - we'd be pumped. But instead, we are learning what it would feel like to watch Regina George win Spring Fling Queen. You did it...yay?