Let Them Eat Cake

Indiana passed a law last week allowing vendors to refuse services to customers on the grounds of religious freedom. The go-to example has been wedding cakes for gay couples: If a baker doesn't agree with same-sex marriage, he doesn't have to bake cakes for gay couples under the Indiana law.

19 other states have similar laws, and there have been hardly any cases of such discrimination in the past 20 years. The federal government also has a very similar law, called the Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993, which was signed by then-President Clinton.

People are flipping out over these state laws, which they're calling "legalized discrimination." You know what? It is legalized discrimination! And that's okay. If a white supremacist whacko shows up to a bakery and tries to order a cake to serve at his upcoming meeting, I think the baker can discriminate and say "no way, it's against my beliefs, I don't want to contribute to this event."

Here's a more pertinent example: If someone were to show up to a Muslim-owned or Jewish-owned bakery and ask them to make a bacon-flavored cake with "YAY BACON" written in frosting, either bakery is within their rights to refuse service. The government shouldn't force them to do something that violates their religious beliefs.

We know that bacon, like gay marriage, is legal (at least in most of the country). We also know that bacon, like gay marriage, is generally accepted and even celebrated as part of American society. And we know that certain people dislike bacon and gay marriage, because they think it's against their faith. It does not stop bacon from existing, and it won't make gay marriage disappear.

I am a Christian and I see nothing wrong with doing business with LGBTQ people. That's because, personally, I think Jesus' message of treating all people with love, and accepting those on the margins of society, is way more important than those couple of lines in Leviticus. (Also, remember the story of the Wedding at Cana, where Jesus turned water into wine? Jesus' first miracle helped make a wedding way more fun.) So if you think that God wants you to turn people away, then I think you're wrong - and in this country, you have a right to be wrong.

This kerfuffle has caused concerned citizens to ask, "where will LGBTQ couples get their wedding cakes?" Everyone knows there are NO gays in the wedding industry. Nope, just a bunch of beer drinkin' tobacco chewin' truck drivin' bros who happen to work in a world of tulle and fondant.

The real answer is - they can go to any other bakery. I am sure there are places that are thrilled to make cakes for gay couples. There are millions of bakeries out there (isn't the free market great?) Oh, and as for those bakeries, and other businesses, who turn down gay couples? They're passing up the opportunity to make money, not only from LGBTQ people but from their friends and allies. So don't be surprised if they go out of business (remember what I said about the free market? That it's great? Yeah.) What looks like a complicated issue is really a piece of cake.

Friday Fun

Hey! Is anyone else so glad this week is over? For me, it was one of those weeks where no matter how much I got done, it felt like more and more kept piling up. Like as soon as I checked something off of my to-do list, two more things got added...woof. I've had to make myself take breaks to prevent burning out. Every Friday needs a little more fun - so for this very first installment of "Friday Fun" on the blog, I'm sharing my favorite little things this week!

1. Argentina National Team in DC

Source: Washington Post

Argentina is playing in Maryland tomorrow, and held their training at Georgetown this week. Security was tight - no announced practice times, and on a field surrounded by a big metal gate - but it didn't stop tons of soccer fans from gathering outside the gate to watch them practice. I got to see a little bit on Tuesday...so cool to see Messi and Di Maria in real life!

2. LOVETAP!


My favorite band just released a new album, and this is my favorite song from it. They played the song at their DC show last October - nobody in the room had ever heard it, but by the end we were all singing along. So catchy!

3.  "I Grew Up in a Cult. Here's What Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Gets Right."

If you watch the show, you'll love this unique and important perspective on its plot. If you don't watch the show...you need to watch the show! The crazy landlady is my favorite..."My floors are warped, all my cats keep piling up in one corner!"

4. Medieval Reactions

 This combines two of my favorite things: art history, and novelty twitter accounts. Too good.
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 That's all for this week! Hope you enjoyed :) I'll be back with politics as usual soon - in the meantime, would love to hear about your favorite finds!

When College "Tolerance" Goes Too Far

American students are taught the virtue of "tolerance" beginning in kindergarten and continuing all the way through college. Tolerance is generally a good thing. It's what allows us to talk to people with whom we disagree. Without tolerance, Presidential debates would default into WWE wrestling matches. (Which, like most reality TV, would be kinda horrifying but also SO entertaining.)

College is for meeting new people, learning independence, and challenging your ideas. And if you want people to think critically, you better have a lot of different viewpoints in the room - that means that colleges are (rightly) places where lots of opinions are tolerated.

There are some things that we, as a society, do not tolerate - and with good reason. The most obvious one is racism. No sane person could watch the SAE racist fraternity chant and think, "You know, they were expressing their beliefs and we have to tolerate it." Because we don't have to tolerate it. Those beliefs are hurtful and wrong - and we, as a society, are totally right to try to stop people from thinking that way.

Another thing we do not tolerate is terrorism.  Terrorism does nothing but harm, in devastating ways. So when a Dean at Cornell University said that he would be okay with an ISIS-supporting club on campus...that is not okay. He explains that students should be able to hear multiple perspectives on an issue. This guy presumably knows that ISIS is beheading innocent people, and he thought "gotta hear both sides." Crazy!

Different viewpoints are valuable because we can learn from them - but we can't learn anything from ideologies motivated by hate. That's why they should not be tolerated.

Nontroversy Alert! Ted Cruz Enrolls in Obamacare

Sen. Ted Cruz, recovering Canadian and GOP presidential candidate,  has enrolled in Obamacare.

The salient point here is not that Ted Cruz signed up for Obamacare - it's that he had no other choice. He was forced by law to sign up for Obamacare. He's a member of Congress, and they're all required to enroll.

The media is trying to have it both ways on this story.

• Ted Cruz signs up for Obamacare? He's a hypocrite!
• Ted Cruz doesn't sign up for Obamacare? He's breaking the law!

Big government forces people to do things they don't want to do. It does not make those people hypocrites. Think about it: Everybody dreads a trip to the DMV, but we still show up and stand in line - because the law says we have to do it if we want to legally be allowed to drive. It doesn't make you a hypocrite if you hate the DMV and also have a driver's license.

Source: @elliosch

Obamacare was a push by the federal government to make something mandatory, and now the left is gloating that people are doing the very thing that their government mandated by law. Imagine if the DMV was bragging about how many people got their drivers' licenses from the DMV...totally silly, because people have no other choice!

That's why I'm calling this a nontroversy: It's not a controversy. It's a basic tenet of any social contract that you have to play by the rules, even when you don't like them.

Ouch! Obama Plays the Name Game with Afghan President

President John F. Kennedy once said, "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." It's salient advice, and oft-quoted. Too bad President Obama can't even remember the names of his friends.

At a White House press conference this afternoon, President Obama gestured toward Afghan President Ghani and referred to him as "President Karzai." Ghani has been in office since last October. He's Karzai's replacement.

What really makes this a spectacular mistake, though, is that Ghani's entire trip to D.C. is about convincing President Obama and the American people that he is nothing at all like Hamid Karzai. After several hours of meetings, Obama still can't seem to tell the two men apart.

Source: Getty

Karzai was generally an unwilling negotiation partner, and he was unwilling to put a stop to rampant corruption in Afghanistan. (He was totally willing to take millions of American dollars to fund that corruption, though.) Ghani's entire presidency so far has been about fixing Karzai's mistakes - on women's rights, on the rule of law in Afghanistan, on relationships with Pakistan, Russia, and China, and now the United States.

The people who mocked Bush's Texas drawl and occasional verbal stumble are totally ignoring Obama's gaffe. Hmm. President TelePrompTer strikes again!

Up and Running: Senator Ted Cruz

It's officially a Presidential race, y'all! We have our first official 2016 candidate, Senator Ted Cruz from Texas. 

Cruz has been a Senator for just a little over two years. Before that, he was Solicitor General of Texas. He also served in the Department of Justice under President George W. Bush. This is very similar to President Obama's resume before his 2008 campaign - two years as a Senator, preceded by legal work. It's all well and good, it's just not enough experience. Neither Obama nor Cruz had authored a major piece of legislation prior to their presidential runs.

Some people (fools) are making a big deal of the fact that Cruz was born in Canada. Because both his parents were US citizens, Cruz had citizenship from birth. This means he's a "natural-born citizen," and can therefore be president. Case closed, end of story, please stop tweeting me pictures of a poorly-photoshopped birth certificate.

Oh, and remember the government shutdown? When everyone in DC started drinking more than usual during the day? Yeaaaaah Ted Cruz was part of that. He opposed any bill that would re-open the government and also fund Obamacare. While I agree with him on principle - we cannot afford the Affordable Care Act - the media will use every which way to make Ted Cruz look like an obstructionist hardliner.

One very impressive thing about Sen. Cruz is that he once gave a speech for over 20 hours on the Senate floor. We know he is good at talking for a really long time and not passing out...which I think is one of the main qualifications someone needs to be a good candidate. That 24-hour news cycle is constantly hungry, so Sen. Cruz's energy is a major plus.

Cruz opposes marriage equality, so booooooo on that. Come on, GOP. Small government means getting government OUT of the marriage business! This is not how you attract young voters.

Unfortunately for Team Ted (Team Tedward?) - TedCruz.com is owned by an old guy in Arizona who doesn't care for the Senator very much. That's why the home page looks like this:

Cruz will be making his announcement tomorrow at Liberty University. I can see why a GOP candidate would want his name associated with the word "Liberty," but Liberty University is not exactly a bastion of freedom: Swearing is banned, as are R-rated movies, "social dancing," short shorts, and hugs lasting longer than three seconds.

Ted Cruz is an important constitutional conservative voice; I just don't know if 2016 is his time. Good for him for jumping in to the race early - let's see if he can be a positive voice for conservative values. 

Things are getting WEIRD in Russia

Or should I say, things are getting weirder. Russia started off pretty weird to begin with. Like your high school gym teacher, it is cold, authoritarian, and strange (and smells like vodka). But the past three weeks have seen some next-level insanity.

First, you've got the assassination of a Boris Nemtsov, a political dissident, and the government conveniently "losing" the security footage. This took place right in front of the Kremlin. Imagine that happening here: A political dissident getting shot in broad daylight in front of the Capitol Building, with NO security footage and no civilian witnesses coming forward to say who did it. That's government-sponsored murder.

Next, you've got Vladimir Putin disappearing for 10 days (and counting!), unannounced and with no explanation. The main rumors are that he may be sick, dead, or overthrown in an internal coup. Another rumor is that he is 1) dating a 32 year old gymnast and politician, and 2) by her side as she gives birth to their love child in Switzerland. I want this rumor to be true. It would make a fabulous(ly terrible) Lifetime movie.

But, one of Putin's spokesmen has denied this...as well as the rumor that Putin has fallen ill. The same spokesman stated that Putin was in good health, with a handshake so strong that it breaks people's hands. He probably meant that as a positive thing - but like most things said about Putin, it is mildly horrifying. Putin cancelled a trip to Kazakhstan last week at the last minute. No one knows when he will next appear in public.

And today, the Novodevichy Convent caught fire. That name may not mean anything to us, but to Russia it is an important cultural and religious site. It dates back to the 16th century. Hard to believe that something could survive in Russia for 500 years and would only now go up in flames. Of course, the fire may be entirely unrelated to the Russian government. But we don't know, and since Putin's government has been SO SHADY lately, we can't really rule it out.

Whenever Putin returns - and I do think he will return soon, to stifle the rumors as soon as possible - he'll probably say he was on vacation, riding winged bears with lasers for eyes.

UPDATE: Putin has reappeared at a meeting in St. Petersburg on March 16th. No winged laser-bears were present. Putin said "life would be boring without rumors," but gave no reason for his absence. He had 10 days to come up with an excuse - but I guess being an authoritarian means never having to answer to anybody.

The Iran Letter, Annotated

Below is the full text of the Iran Letter, with my annotations in red.
====================================================================

An Open Letter to the Leaders of the Islamic (yes) Republic (not so much) of Iran:

It has come to our attention while observing your nuclear negotiations with our government that you may not fully understand our constitutional system. Iran seems utterly confused by the "voting rights" thing, and the "freedom of religion" thing. Thus, we are writing to bring to your attention two features of our Constitution (features?! Does it glow in the dark?) — the power to make binding international agreements and the different character of federal offices (oh) — which you should seriously consider as negotiations progress. SOMEONE has to consider the constitution during all this, and since the president won't do it, Congress is really counting on Iran to do them a solid.

First, under our Constitution, while the president negotiates international agreements, Congress plays the significant role of ratifying them. This is true. In the case of a treaty, the Senate must ratify it by a two-thirds vote.  A so-called congressional-executive agreement requires a majority vote in both the House and the Senate (which, because of procedural rules, effectively means a three-fifths vote in the Senate). This is also true. Anything not approved by Congress is a mere executive agreement (that means "pinkie swear"). Also, everything in the letter just explains how our Constitution sets up the government. They haven't mentioned the agreement at all yet.

Second, the offices of our Constitution have different characteristics. The Executive Branch is Team Jacob, while the Judicial Branch is Team Edward. For example, the president may serve only two 4-year terms, whereas senators may serve an unlimited number of 6-year terms. The vice president can do whatever he wants, as evidenced by the installation of the White House Hallway Slip 'N Slide during the summer of 2009.

As applied today, for instance, President Obama will leave office in January 2017 (hooRAY), while most of us will remain in office well beyond then — perhaps decades. Some members of Congress are already beginning to fossilize.

What these two constitutional provisions mean is that we will consider any agreement regarding your nuclear-weapons program that is not approved by the Congress as nothing more than an executive agreement between President Obama and Ayatollah Khamenei.  Still, no mention of the contents of the proposed agreement. The next president could revoke such an executive agreement with the stroke of a pen and future Congresses could modify the terms of the agreement at any time. That is how our government works. This should not be offensive to anyone.

We hope this letter enriches your knowledge of our constitutional system and promotes mutual understanding and clarity as nuclear negotiations progress. If Republicans in Congress are hoping for "understanding" and "clarity" with the Mullahs, they are much more optimistic than your average bear.

Sincerely,
[47 Senators]

====================================================================
This letter says NOTHING about the contents of the deal. It is about separation of powers.

It would be one thing if the GOP Senators said, "Hi, Iran, we saw your deal and we don't like it and we won't honor it." But that's not what they're doing here. They're saying that the deal is not a valid treaty unless ratified by the Senate - if that is offensive to you, then you must have been terribly offended by your 4th grade civics class. This is a basic function of our government.

As this plays out over the next few days, opponents of the letter should have to answer one question. Exactly what part of this letter do you disagree with: The part where it explains the Constitution, or the part where it's signed by Republicans?

Hillary's Hidden Emails are an Ethical Nightmare

By using an illegal homemade private email system, Hillary Clinton broke the law for her entire term as Secretary of State. This should disqualify her from holding public office again. Here's why:

Safety
The most practical concern is that Clinton's emails may have been hacked. State Department email is set up to be extra-safe...that's why all the employees are supposed to use State Department email, starting their first day on the job. Gawker contacted a technology security expert who told them, "It is almost certain that at least some of the emails hosted at clintonemail.com were intercepted." The challenge is finding out which emails, and by whom. The release of classified information could put Americans at risk. It's just plain reckless to endanger our national security by skipping Step 1 of being Secretary of State.

The Law
Clinton broke the law knowingly and willfully by using private email. There is no outright ban on the use of private email by State Department employees, as long as that private email is 1) Approved by the State Department, with all emails forwarded to and preserved by the department, and 2) Up to State Department security standards. Hillary's homemade email system met neither qualification. 

She never even set up an account at State. She wasn't following the rules - she wasn't even trying to LOOK like she was following the rules. And yet, she forced out the US Ambassador to Kenya for doing the exact same thing - using an email address that wasn't connected to the State Department.

Ramifications
Clinton issued a carefully-crafted tweet saying she's asked the State Department to release her emails. Nice idea, but the State Department doesn't HAVE all her emails - and that's why we're having this conversation in the first place.

Hillary has handed over some of the emails, mainly because the emails were subpoena'd by House Republicans. She's not going to hand over all of the emails. There are huge chunks of emails missing, including ones from a trip to Libya.

This scandal has reached President Obama, as well. He claims he heard about the private email system on the news. Whether you believe him or not, one of the following statements must be true:

1. President Obama never once emailed with Hillary Clinton while she was Secretary of State.
2. President Obama received emails from Clinton, saw that they were on a homemade and potentially unsafe server, and did NOTHING about it.

I'm not sure which one is worse. Hillary Clinton has demonstrated really terrible judgment and a disregard for information security - which is a big part of national security. Pretty soon, as this unravels, even the "Ready for Hillary" crowd will have to realize that Hillary just isn't ready for the responsibility of holding public office.

UPDATES!
Hillary threw one hot mess of a press conference yesterday. The event may have been meant to "clear the air," but it's already clear that she lied during her remarks at the UN - twice.

First, Hillary said that she didn't want to deal with the inconvenience of carrying two phones. If you're too prissy to carry two different devices, that's a personal problem. But Hillary wasn't even telling the truth - a few weeks ago, she said that she used an iPhone, and iPad, an iPad mini, and a Blackberry.

Now for the second lie: Hillary said "The server contains personal communications from my husband and me...The system we used was set up for President Clinton's office." That would be okay - if it was true. Bill Clinton's spokesperson told Bloomberg that he never emailed with Hillary on her ClintonEmail.Com account. Bill has no reason to lie (his political career was over a long time ago), but Hillary has every reason to want to cover up shady dealings.

She lied. Twice. And she also turned over LESS THAN HALF of her emails to the State Department. She says that the others were about her yoga practice, and wedding planning, and non-business things...but does ANYONE believe that doing yoga and planning a wedding requires more email than four years as Secretary of State?

This bear does not.

I CANNOT EVEN with this ISIS-Themed Wedding

A newlywed couple in Florida Egypt is feeling the backlash for their recent ISIS-themed wedding. How does one have an ISIS-themed wedding? Well, first you start with terrible judgment, and then add...

• Music from ISIS propaganda videos
• Jihadi-style head coverings and masks for the groomsmen
• Get knife-wielding masked men to jump out and force the newlyweds into a cage

Yeah, they went there. ("There" being some alternate universe where it's okay to throw a party that is styled after a terrorist group.)

Turns out, the happy couple didn't tell their guests what was happening with the whole fake-knife-attack thing. So, when a gang of masked men flooded the reception hall to create a faux-terrorist attack, some of the guests thought it was a real terrorist attack.

Now, I don't want to play into the stereotype of the single woman who has already planned her wedding down to the last Pinterest-worthy detail...but there is one thing that I am totally certain about: I don't want the wedding guests to think they're being attacked by ISIS. Call me a Bridezilla in the making, but that is just one aspect of my wedding on which I will not budge!


What makes this even more offensive is that the bride and groom had a fake cage, and were dancing in it...when ISIS had recently burned a Jordanian pilot to death after locking him in a cage. That's just next-level horrible. And besides, THERE ARE ZERO GOOD REASONS TO DANCE IN A CAGE. It's never classy, and in this case it's just stunningly tactless.

It really says something about a wedding when the techno music, cage dancing, and white plastic couches are not the tackiest things about it.

Robert Mugabe Ate an Elephant, and It Gets Worse

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
That's how Robert Mugabe - dictator of Zimbabwe - ate a baby elephant last weekend.

It gets worse...
Rather than conduct this event quietly, Bobby Mugabe went public - WAY public - with this meal. The elephant was part of the feast at his 91st birthday celebration.

It gets worse...
Mugabe spent a cool $1 million on his birthday bash, in a country where the vast majority of people live in poverty directly because of his policies.

It gets worse...
A lion and a crocodile were also killed for the party...but just for decoration.

It gets worse...
Elephants are valuable for their ivory tusks. Mugabe, knowing this, has falsely claimed for over a decade that Zimbabwe is overpopulated with elephants, so that he would be able to sell them.

It gets worse...
This all came to light on World Wildlife Day.

You're a mean one, Bobby Mugabe.

He suspended 27 of his bodyguards over "letting him fall."